So there I was sitting atop of Mount Sinai a few evenings ago waiting for the sunset, lost in my thoughts and gazing blankly out over the desolate Egyptian Sinai Peninsula, when all of a sudden the small bush beside me began to spontaneously combust. It was obviously a sign. Then a deep, booming voice began speaking to me. Only to me. The voice informed me that I was the chosen one, the one chosen to convey to the populous ‘The Ten Commandments of Egyptian Travel’. So as God’s chosen medium on the subject, and without any further adieu, here now I present…
The Ten Commandments of Egyptian Travel
Commandment I
Thou shall not take the countries name in vain when you are overcharged, short-changed or when you are galled by having to seemingly pay twice to see certain attractions
Commandment II
Thou shall remember that posted opening times on buildings and travel schedules are arbitrary at best and that buildings will open and all schedules will be followed ‘sha’ Allah’ (God willing)
Commandment III
Thou shall be in possession of ones passport at all times when moving around to appease the many unofficial looking ‘officials’ who will covet a look at it
Commandment IV
Thou shall remember to visit Drinkies at least once a day to pay homage to their glorious wall of Stella beer bottles
Commandment V
Thou shall not be tempted to kill in response to the utterance of the words “it is good for you,” “where are you from?” “full,” “complete” or “closed” no matter how many times you hear them
Commandment VI
Thou shall always check ones change after making a purchase
Commandment VII
Thou shall honor thy local buffering you from the oncoming traffic as you cross Egypt’s roads
Commandment VIII
Thou shall make an effort to learn Arabic number symbols
Commandment IX
Thou shall give baksheesh only when the service warrants baksheesh and not because it’s simply expected
Commandment X
Thou shall not bear any grudges or cause any harm to the touts who will endlessly harass you
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