Monaco

The Principality of Monaco is a tiny sovereign city-state, a limpet of land on France’s underbelly best known as a tax haven & seaside playground paradise for the affluent. The absurdly affluent. Completely surrounded by France, only some 8 kilometres (5 miles) from the western border with Italy & hemmed in by the Mediterranean Sea, the place is about the same size as London’s Hide Park making it the second smallest country in the world (after Vatican City) & the smallest country in the world with a coastline; it measures a mere 4 kilometres (2.5 miles). It may be minuscule but thanks to the Grand Prix, Grace Kelly & the superstars who flock here, it has a big reputation. The most glamorous, most star-studded & richest place on earth, it’s no surprise that this is a land where money is king. In fact, it’s a religion. So what is there to do here if, & like most of us, you’re not stupidly rich? Well you could, & just as I did, admire the gaudy glamour and stare at people who are stupidly wealthy & at things you couldn’t possibly afford, the super-yachts in shimmering Port de Monaco & the lovely Beaux-Arts villas clinging precipitously to the hillsides the obvious examples of Monaco’s in-your-face materialism. Spending a few hours snooping around the principality is quite the enjoyable endeavor, but just be prepared to feel wholly inadequate when doing so.

– British playwright, novelist and short story writer W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) commenting on Monaco.

Slumming It, Monaco Style
With a population of some 36,000 packed into such a small area, Monaco is the most densely populated country in the world. Yes there are the lovely Beaux-Arts villas clinging precipitously to the hillsides, but you won’t find many palatial mansions here & certainly no lavish, sprawling country homes. There’s simply no room. Most live in relatively small apartment high-rises riding the hills overlooking the Mediterranean (as seen in the above picture). No, people here aren’t exactly slumming it in a sea view shoe box but still, spare a thought for them. It’s the address you see & the tax haven it provides. It means the rich get richer & it also means that there are no shortage of them – the uber-rich – looking to live here; at present Monaco boasts the most millionaires (approximately 2,000 of them, with over 50 billionaires) per square metre than anywhere else on earth. Needless to say Monaco property prices weren’t exactly rocked by the recent credit crunch – average prices of almost €50,000 per metre square means this is the most expensive country in the world in which to live. Not that that should surprise many.

A Few Monaco Observations

• Everyone is rich here. Absurdly so. When having a look around you’ll feel like a pauper. It’s unavoidable.
• It’s remarkably clean. Seemingly the streets are scrubbed daily.
• The unofficial language may be money but the official language is French. However, Monégasque (a dialect of the modern Ligurian language), Italian, and English are widely spoken and understood.
• It uses the Euro, mainly because of its relationship with France. If visiting, bring plenty with you.
• It’s the smallest member of the UN.
• Monaco is not an EU member (& it seems to be doing OK without it by looks of things).
• Security is insane. CCTV cameras are everywhere and every car entering the Principality is scanned.
• Multi-million dollar yachts, million dollar watches, Ferraris & Lamborghinis are all ten a penn… em, ten a million.
• You’re requested to dress appropriately, in no less than 4 different languages.

Tourists: Dress Appropriately. It’s somewhat ironic to see graffiti on this sign, the sort of thing you don’t expect to see here in utopia. Monaco. March 14, 2014.